Actual text messages from friends. My responses are on the right.
Veteran’s Day With Matt
Hey dude, Happy Veteran’s day.
Thanks, maybe I can repay you on National Asshole Day.
Veteran’s Day With Brandon
Happy Veteran’s Day. You should go to
Applebees and get drunk for free.
Getting drunk at Applebees always costs something.
Usually my dignity.
A Discussion About Matt With Brandon
Will u please tell Matt that Seth
McFarlane’s live show sucked.
It’s done.
He’s such a weirdo.
I know, he just called me Colonel Mustard
and a fuck-face adn then hung up.
I hate that guy.
totally.
A Message From Someone Who Wishes To Remain Anonymous
Dude! Marge Simpson is in Playboy and Sarah Palin’s
book comes out on Tuesday! I’m going to have enough jerk-off
material to last until Thanksgiving!
a few hours later
Hey, how do you pre-order a book?
