I knew it was going to be a long day at work because Bob and Fritz started their usual conversation early. Bob put his hand on his lower back and stretched backward letting out a groan.
“Oh my god I couldn’t sleep last night.”
“Why is that Bob?” asked Fritz.
“I kept having nightmares about health care, Bob.”
“Oh my god I know. I kept imagining a line at the DMV and then I was like thinking what if at that same line they had to give out ban-aids and junk. I mean Fritz, if they pass this healh care, our lives may be over.”
I usually stay out of politics at the office but I felt like I had to say something.
“Bob, Fritz, do you really think it will affect us? I mean, we have jobs and our third quarter was great, and besides, we have our own doctor here.”
“Yeah but what happens if we role up on another boat and we board it and when we start stealing their gold we all get pink eye?” asked Fritz.
“Yeah, we want other people to be healthy too. What if we find some cruise ship and we start raping all these chicks but they have STDs that we aren’t yet immune to?”
“Okay,” I said. “That is a good point, but again, if we were to get pink eye, or STDs that we aren’t yet immune to, we have a doctor on the ship who will fix us. For free. The only people who health care effects are people who don’t have it. If anything, maybe some of those people who had pink eye would have been able to go to a doctor and get it looked at before they touched the gold we were going to steal.”
Bob and Fritz looked at each other. There other buddy Simon walked in. He must have overheard us from the copy room. Of course he had to weigh in.
“Hey Max, I think something you sent jammed up the printer. If you could take care of that it would really help us out. We’re on deadline here.”
I thought it would be so cool being a pirate. It’s really not that cool.
