A young boy, age 12 parked his Razor on his Grandfather’s porch. He went inside and found his Grandfather in his favorite chair. The Grandfather always knew if his grandson rode his Razor over that something was bothering him.
“Hop up on my lap little guy. Tell me your troubles”
“How long before I’m an adult? I hate being a kid, I can’t do nothing I want.”
“What can’t you do that you want to do?”
“I want to grow a mustache like my P.E. teacher. He always gets to hug and kiss all the girls in my class and not me.”
“My boy, let me tell you a story. One day a man woke up and couldn’t find his glasses. He went into the bathroom to shave and because he didn’t have his glasses he messed up his mustache. He kept trying to fix it but he ended up having to just shave the whole thing off. He was on his way to work but he didn’t feel right. He had worn a mustache for 25 years so he stopped at Eckerd’s Drug Store and picked up a package of velcro. While he was there he saw one of his patients. The man was a gynecologist and he saw a woman who had an appointment that day with him. He kept his hand over his mouth while he talked to her because he didn’t want her to see him without a mustache.
‘Hello Gladys, I look forward to your appointment today.’
‘Hi Doctor, I look forward to seeing you as well.’
‘I hope you haven’t been shaving your puss like we talked about. That can lead to bumps and infections.’
‘Oh no Doctor I haven’t.’
‘Good, good, see you soon.’
‘Good bye’
After the Doctor had left the woman picked up a package of velcro. See she in fact did shave her puss and she did have an infection and she didn’t want the doctor to know. When she got to the doctor she noticed that his mustache looked an awful lot like her fake velcro puss hair. She also noticed he wasn’t wearing glasses. She sat in the stirrup and the doctor got to work.
‘You’ll have to excuse me Gladys, but I didn’t wear my glasses today. I might have to get closer then usual.’
‘No problem.’
‘Let me just see here….Uh oh.’
‘I know I know I know, I’m sorry. I shaved my puss. I super-glued velcro down there so you wouldn’t know.’
‘I know that Glady’s. My fake velcro mustache is stuck to it. Im going to try to loosen the glue with some saliva, this will just take a second.’
And 5 years later they were married.”
The little boy thought for a second.
“Grandpa, isn’t Grandma’s name Glady’s and aren’t you a doctor?”
The grandfather winked at him.
“You’ve figure it out boy. Now can you figure out the point of the story?”
He thought for a minute.
“To not worry about your appearance because there is someone perfect for everyone?”
“No you idiot, if you have a traumatic experience eating pussy with some girl marry her because she’ll never expect it again. I haven’t ate pussy in 45 years. Its fucking awesome.”
